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December has two themes:
RESPONSIBILITY and OPPORTUNITY
It may seem that the two themes are not related to each other but they are not only related but also mutually supportive. Hopefully by now we are all more comfortable dealing with the unknown, as that theme from November will continue to influence us over the next few months.
However this month we shift our focus to more of how we can actually deal with the unknown by examining where and how we are RESPONSIBLE as well as learning to identify and take advantage of OPPORTUNITY.
Let’s start with RESPONSIBILITY as that is the main theme that shows up first.
In defining RESPONSIBILITY, I like to include “the ability to respond” as part of the definition. You should always be the first responder to whatever is happening in your life. You should be the first responder to your own issues. It helps if you can always come from the place of accepting that you create absolutely everything and every situation in your life. The power in that responsibility is that if you created it, you can uncreate it, you can change it, and you can always create something new.
This is not to say that you have to do it alone and can never ask for help. You can have incredible support, cooperation and guidance, but this month’s lesson is to really get that no one else can do it, heal it or fix it for you. You can have all the guidance in the world, all the meditations, visualizations, therapy, healing work, advice, financial support and help, but if you do not RESPOND in a way that takes full responsibility for your situation, you will not change anything in the end.
The other part of the lesson is to get that you cannot fix, heal or do it for someone else either. There are those that love to fix and do for others and truly believe that they can and should. And then there are those that don’t want to take responsibility for their own issues and wait for others to come forth to fix and heal them. Learning to stay out of other people’s drama and to empower them to help themselves is an important lesson especially this month. It is crucial that you identify what is NOT your responsibility and set some good boundaries.
One of the challenges we are moving into in the next few months is MARTYRDOM, or blaming something or someone else for your lot in life. There is absolutely no power in Martyrdom and blame is not a responsible response. We will unpack this theme way more in our discussion of 2015, but for now just watch that you do not go into blame as a response. Remember you are never the victim and you always have choice.
So how do you respond? Do you freeze up waiting for the other shoe to drop? Do you go passive like a deer in headlights? Do you take rash action sometimes overstepping someone else’s boundaries? Are you afraid to respond? Do you wait for others to respond first? Observe your behavior and practice being the first responder. These times are all about taking your power back and this is a good first step. We are moving into times of greater creative possibilities that will require this level of RESPONSIBILITY.
Being responsible and able to respond in a powerful way sets you up to take advantage of OPPORTUNITY. If you really get that you create everything that happens in your life, then you will begin to see clearly the OPPORTUNITY available in each situation. Almost everything you create and are responsible for provides an opportunity for something to be experienced, learned, started, completed, changed, understood, eliminated or integrated.
This month the OPPORTUNITIES will be very interesting and possibly somewhat unexpected. This comes directly out of the unknown we explored last month. If you embrace each day as an opportunity, meet it with a “don’t know mind” and remember to be your own first responder, your experience of life could be exciting and different and full of surprises.
Here is a little story about how that works. I recently had dental surgery for an implant. I really hate and resist and go into fear around dental work. I usually become a puddle and feel completely victimized. This time however I decided to be responsible for creating the situation and to use the surgery as an opportunity. I know that bones and teeth hold old patterns. The first responder in me chose to proactively witness the disruption to the old patterns whatever they were (I did not have to know) as my jaw was being drilled. I then focused on filling the space with light and the intention that a new pattern would form in the space, a pattern that served me better. Because I removed all resistance, blame and fear, I was also able to heal much more quickly without any pain whatsoever eliminating the need for any medication. It was an interesting experiment and really taught me the benefit of approaching everything in my life in this way.
So RESPOND with a “don’t know mind” but with the clear intention of stepping into the OPPORTUNITY of what may be available that is of a higher frequency.
How can you make the most of this month?
Learn to live responsibly. The buck stops here. It’s your life not someone else’s. No one can do it for you. It is all up to you.
Your task this month is to eliminate all blame and belief that someone or something owes you and therefore they need to fix you, heal you, or pay up. There is great opportunity for personal empowerment provided you could step into being responsible for your life. If you truly believe that your life is run by the decisions and choices of others, then you do not believe you have the power to create your own experience.
This month also provides an opportunity for eliminating what you thought was your responsibility but may not be, as it belongs to someone else. This is especially true and may be difficult for those of you whose self worth is actually tied to how you carry suffering and energy for other people. If you examine this closely you will see that you really cannot resolve anything for another person. Perhaps you can guide them or advise them if they ask for it but you can never do it for them. Remember that you cannot digest anything that is not yours. So if you suffer from digestive problems it may be due to more than just what you have eaten.
This is a toughie as relationships embody the challenge of sorting out what is your responsibility and what is not. Many relationships are based on assumptions and tend to feed the needy and drain the givers. This all has the ability to change this month but there may be reactions to work through such as anger, blame, disappointment and Martyrdom.
It is a good month set appropriate boundaries and take responsibility for the consequences. It is also a good month to clean up any dysfunctional patterns around responsibility in relationship and to redefine some of the foundational platforms that your relationships are based on. We had a teacher once that was adamant about us really getting the notion of “not your problem”. It’s a good one.
On the other hand there are great opportunities this month for deepening relationships, as communication becomes a necessary piece of the responsibility issue. There could be more understanding, intimacy, compassion and acceptance as the air is cleared and you sort out what is yours and what is not. If the relationship does not move in the right direction, it maybe time to review why you are in it in the first place. Because we are still being influenced by the great unknown, those with a need for security may have a hard time as relationships shift and change, deepen or fall apart.
Look around you. What do you see? Do you truly know your environment? How have you not been responsible? What have you been putting up with that you could change? What can you not change that you need to accept? Do you resist the weather? Do you blame the environment in any way for your actions and reactions?
How can you move into a greater sense of RESPONSIBILITY in and for your environment?
We are still in the unknown so anything is possible and everything can be an opportunity. This month is more of a study of how you react than a prediction of what may happen in the greater environment. Work with the idea of OPPORTUNITY. If you don’t like something, take the opportunity to change what you can and what you are responsible for, and then take the opportunity to become more personally responsible in your reactions to what you cannot change. There is a thread of a higher centered creative enthusiasm that is beginning to snake its way into every opportunity and your environment could be the first to be affected.
The area of health and well being is perhaps the most challenging area in which to take back your power, become more personally responsible and to see how you have created everything that you are experiencing. The exciting thing about the opportunities this month is that you truly can make permanent changes in how you handle and take charge of your health. You may find yourself inspired to start an exercise program or finally get some help with a health issue from the right practitioner. You have the opportunity for tremendous movement in this area of your life provided you see and embrace it as your full responsibility and are willing to be proactive in doing something about it.
The other part of this health and well-being equation is to realize that you are not responsible for another person’s choices regarding their health and well being. As with last month where we saw some delusionary behaviors and attitudes, we may continue to see others having a difficult time sorting out their reality. Those of you in the physical and mental health professions can certainly hold good containers for others to do their own healing but remember that you cannot actually do it for them. It is always a difficult thing to witness another’ suffering but if you try and carry it for them, you yourself will suffer needlessly and that is not helpful to anyone at all.
As we are still clearing old patterns, bones, teeth and cartilage may be affected. Digestion problems may also be on the rise as we deal with what is indigestible because it is not ours. Energy levels may also be up and down and mental health may be a bit sketchy.
Sorting out who is responsible for what, doing your share, delegating the rest, and setting good boundaries against what you know is not yours, is the opportunity. In this area we also focus on clearing and cleaning, eliminating and dissolving old dreams, goals, expectations, habits and patterns. The more you can clear and clean the slate, the easier it will be to implement something new and to see clearly where it needs to go.
Be responsible for your own clutter.
There is a reason that it does not work to get someone else to just go through your things and throw half of them away. This does not teach you anything and it does not change your own personal habits. Those who delegate their clutter management to others, go right back into clutter. Those who deal with their clutter themselves tend to make more permanent changes in the management of their environment. This is important in business and partnerships as it falls into the category of taking responsibility for how you create, how you destroy, and change and recreate. Just as we are becoming more responsible for our waste with recycling and composting, so should we become responsible for our creative and energetic waste.
It is a good month for being responsible for good endings and good beginnings especially in projects and business. Communication is key as well as telling the truth and being responsible enough to tell it.
RESPONSIBILITY enters into finances, budgeting, the truth about what you have and what you do not and what you are willing to do to make some things happen in your life. Remember no one else is going to do it for you. Be inspired, make a plan and make sure it is yours.
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The author of this commentary, Lena Stevens, is the co-founder of an international school and consulting firm dedicated to the study and application of shamanism and wisdom. Lena Stevens has co-authored books with Jose Stevens, Ph.D., such as Secrets of Shamanism:Tapping the Spirit Power Within You. Their website is http://www.thepowerpath.com